Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That is fine, but there is a time and place for giving certain opinions, and as I have discovered recently, some people don't know where to draw the line. Allow me to explain.
Since I was 10 years old, I have wanted to go to medical school. When I was younger, people would smile and say, "Good for you." I don't think they really thought I would stick with that goal, but I have. Now that I am in college and have stuck with this goal, the reactions I get have greatly changed. Most people just say, "Wow, good luck," and then proceed to say something along the lines that they could never do that, and wow, I must be really smart.
But this is not the response that I get from everyone, not by a long shot. Now that I'm older and still want to go to medical school, people feel the need to give me their opinions, no matter what they are. At times, these opinions are not very nice at all. Here are some of the more common (and sometimes rude) responses I get.
1. Let's start with the most offensive response, which is more common than you'd think. "Are you doing it for the money?" Um, NO! And how rude! No, my reason for wanting to be a doctor is not that it pays well. My reason is that I want to help people. I was also given the gift of not being very squeamish. THAT is why I want to be a doctor. I would also like to travel to third world countries to provide medical care. Does that pay well? No, but I want to do it. Also, it's nice to know how highly you think of me. If you ask me if I'm doing it for the money, I will turn sour, get sarcastic, and judge you, so just don't even go there.
2. "You must be a real nerd." I usually play it safe by saying, "Yeah, I kind of am." On the inside, though, I am screaming and throwing a fit. If you are not either nerdier than me or my best friend, then it is NOT okay to call me a nerd. I could write an entire rant just on this topic. For the sake of keeping this from being a novel, I will just say that this is offensive, and I'll write another rant on this topic later.
3. "Wow, that's a lot of school." REALLY?! You don't say? People point this out as if I didn't already know that. Yes, I understand that I will be in school for a long time, but I enjoy learning. Besides, if I'm going to be allowed to operate on people, a lot of schooling seems like a good plan to me.
4. "That's expensive," or "You're going to be poor for a while." See #1. Don't talk to me about the money involved in any way, shape, or form.
5. "I hear that surgeons can't have families." That's not true. I can do whatever I want to do, thank you very much. I don't need your pessimism and negativity. Also, butt out of my business. That's my decision, not yours. Back off.
6. "You had better keep your grades up, then." No, I plan on failing. Are you serious? My parents are always on my back about my grades anyways, as if I don't push myself hard enough already. Please, I don't need anyone else riding me.
7. "Oh, could you look at this problem I'm having with _______." This one isn't rude; it's more that it's strange. I'm just in my undergraduate years. I'm not actually IN medical school yet, so I probably don't know what that strange rash on your left ankle is or why your right pinky finger is swollen. If I were you, I'd just go to an actual doctor for advice and treatment.
8. "You can take care of me when I get old!" It's almost funny how often I get this response, actually. Well, as much as I'd love to help, that isn't really my plan. You see, not all doctors work on old people, and I would actually like to work with children, which is quite the opposite. That's what I've wanted to do for a while now. I just don't think that geriatrics is for me. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't foresee that happening.
9. "Your parents must be so proud of you." This one is hard to respond to. I mean yes, my parents are proud of me, but I also think they'd be just as proud of me if I were becoming a teacher or a writer or a musician or going into any other career. This comment almost makes it seem like you have to be doing something over the top to make your parents proud, which is not the case.
10. "You're following in your mother's footsteps." My mom is a P.A., so yes, I am going down the same career path as my mother. That is great and all, but I'd be doing this whether my mom was in medicine or not. This is MY life and MY decision. Not that I don't love my mom a lot or anything, I just don't like being compared to other people. I'm doing this for me. There is no need to bring anyone else into this decision. Let me do my thing.
11. "My husband's uncle's friend is a doctor." Awesome! What kind of doctor are they? Oh, a proctologist, that's...well, that's interesting.
12. "That's awesome. What made you interested in medicine?" This is the best way to respond. I will respond with, "I have always loved it, and I really want to help people." Then we can continue on with our conversation. See? It's that easy.
Now, I don't mean to say that I don't want to talk about this, because I do. What I'm saying is that, like in every situation, you need to be mindful of what you say. What you may just think of as your opinion or common knowledge on this subject can be hurtful, so think before you speak.
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